Mother’s day came first. Dad was an afterthought. And then Father’s day followed.
But that’s fine.
You see, Mother’s Day, in many respects, is what matters. ‘Mom’ goes through the nine months of changes, the labor pains.. the glorious feeling when she holds her child. Dad of course had a hand in the whole affair, but.. .. .. and for that, we know why dads mean something.
I have sought to be the best father, ever. Period. I don’t know how often I sink or swim with my son, Ayden, but I certainly try..
Since the first time I looked at my son’s face, I felt a connection that is stronger than the physical form. This may sound corny, and for non-believers, potentially repugnant, but I see “God” in my son’s eyes. Whatever your idea of God is, of course. Because God may not be the God we think God is, or he may be a she, or maybe just electricity.. or maybe nothing. But I see more than nothing in my son’s eyes, therefore I know there is something more than nothing—and the something is something I have no clue how to even try to understand..
And re-re-reading that paragraph, I know it makes little sense. But life sometimes just… makes little sense.
What does make sense, though, is being a father. Sharing laughs, wrestling matches (without real punches), fights, and love.
Family first. At least according to Adam Sandler in CLICK.
And I follow that motto. Family first.
We certainly don’t have to be friends. But we need to be family.
In 1993, I received a Christmas gift: My mom subscribed me to TIME magazine. I have been a reader since. Though I will admit now over the past 10 years I sometimes page through the smaller than ever print edition and just toss it aside. But in 1993 I read a story called ‘FATHERHOOD’… Never of course, at the age of 13, realizing that 20 years later I’d be celebrating my third father’s day…
And in 2003, ten years after that TIME edition was printed on old paper, I was cruising around in my 1999 RED Volkswagen Jetta, searching for a mate and not realizing my best friend Tara would soon be my wife… While cracking the windows, I played my COMPACT DISC of Simple Plan. I’d Do Anything… And now, ten years later, my son Ayden is watching 2003 reruns of SCOOBY DOO and he is singing along to songs by Simple Plan, as they did the theme songs and background music for the show.. At one point about three weeks ago, I had Ayden in my car and put my old scratched up CD of Simple Plan in.. and me and my son shared a moment of singing along to music. In 2003 did I ever think I’d have a child, let alone be married? No.. I did not.
This is what happens. Life happens when you are busy making other plans. Right, Mr. Holland? Your Opus proved that..
I think I may go back to the 1993 article of TIME and read what being a father is all about..Though I think I know.
Being a dad is being there. Being the wrestler in Chief and sometimes the disciplinarian in chief. Easing mom’s tension by taking the child away for a while. Being a friend. A foe. And an ally to the end.
Yes, fatherhood is interesting, beautiful, and amazing. All at the same time. I am glad I am taking part in this grand experiment.
To all the dads out there, including my own: Happy Father’s Day. For a few hours Mom may tell you it’s “your” day. Actually it’s not. It is your child’s day — everyday..